Thoughts

Okay I've been majorly slacking in the blog posting department. Of course it doesn't help that we just can't seem to get over these runny noses and colds! I need to take Analee's advise and start downing orange juice (doesn't help that I'm not a fan of OJ in the first place). Last weekend we went down to Fayette to attend the annual temple devotional. We woke Kylie up, got her dressed so she could go with Angie to church and she just would not stop crying. More of a hysterical cry for a long period of time. It just wasn't her. We were planning on sending her with Angie and Greg's family while we were gone. After debating back and forth we decided that I'd stay home with her and that poor stuffy, runny-nosed girl slept for another four hours that morning. We've seriously had runny noses around this joint for three weeks now. THREE WEEKS!!!

I'm sort of morning the fact that Kylie now refuses to wear bows in her hair. She's always worn headbands and never given me an ounce of trouble. Then all of a sudden she's all over that sham. The second I put one on her head she rips it out!!! UGH! I've tried even sneaking a clip in while she's not looking but it's like the doll can sense that it's there! I'm looking forward to when her hair is long enough to wear piggie tails, or even "a" piggie on the top of her head. It's starting to fill in more now, but still isn't long enough even in back to pull out.

I've been kind of a major funk over the past week over all the failed adoptions in the news and blogs that I follow. My heart just literally hurts. I need to hear some positive adoption stories where everything works out because this week I've heard nothing but one heart breaking situation after another. One where the expectant mom changed her mind shortly after birth. A six month old going back to his native american tribe to be put into fostercare. Another anguishing story where a couple had been parents for 34 days before the placement failed because the birthmother's family put so much pressure on her daughter to not place the baby. (Utah is one of the few states where birthparents rights are unrevokable after they sign. Many states have 3, 10 even 30 days to change their mind or other legal loopholes) Today I found out another family will be going through a contested adoption by the young birthfather.

All these stories just cut too close to home and the problem is that I CAN imagine what it would be like. Sometimes you can do everything right, and only accept certain placements and this could still happen to you. I can't imagine a greater pain than loosing a child and I just ache for these families. I wish I could come through all of that unscathed. I love adoption but I also hate it. And this week I hate it royally.

And on that happy note, Merry Christmas!